Workplace boundaries

Many of us are busy working in the office or other places. Work can be part of our identities and I do take pride in doing what I do for living. But it can get really hard to maintain work-life balance. You could be working so many hours, your boss is constantly asking you to do her job (!) and this happens unfortunately. 

Maintaining work life balance is crucial for our wellbeing. When we lose balance, we spend too much time worrying about your work or having issues with your project..

I take pride in what I do for living in college but lately I am not so satisfied with my work performance because my personal issues are starting to affect me and work issues are starting to affect my personal life. 

Ideally I want to be happy with most of my interactions with students, boss, colleagues and other people. But it really doesn’t work that way. People have their own agenda and baggage and my job is to really handle it professionally while setting limits. 

But when the work is going well, it gives us a sense of purpose and meaning in our lives and that helps us see things more positively. 

But lately I have been distracted a lot. I am struggling with this one student whom I believe is in deep trouble. I think she made a mistake but mostly falsely accused by her teacher because of personal issues. Although I can’t go into details, I started that whole process and do feel pretty bad about that.

Then my boss whom I used to be so close for the last two years or so is pulling away because she got promoted to the highest manager position in our division. I am her staff so I do understand that the nature of our relationship needs to change and she wouldn’t be talking about personal stuff as much as she used to two years ago. 

I failed to set proper boundaries when she was texting me every single day even at night because she was struggling with her separation and everything else and I am naturally a co-dependent so wanted to be there for her. She got through it and got the promotion and whatever the reason is, she is pulling away. 

She is no longer texting me late at night, doesn’t tell me anything about her personal life and probably her therapist told her to set boundaries from people, especially work related people..I knew that but I don’t think she knew what the boundary means when she was going through separation. It was inappropriate for her to forward her ex husband’s email, her sister’s email and her teacher’s email..I felt “trapped”. are a true friend. 

Sure. I think I am a great person and I always want to help other people. But when I need them, they are usually gone. I understand that she got promoted but I do feel subtle resentment toward her pulling away from me even though I understand that she is simply setting boundaries like her therapist probably told her to do to everybody.

I am just going to focus on the quality of my work, complete each project to the best of my knowledge and do my job and go home knowing that I did the best I could today. 

It is very important to set limits at work. Work can be stressful by nature and you really don’t want to complicate your relationship with colleagues and that can make your workplace hell. 

But nobody is perfect and we set one boundary at a time. One limit at a time. You deserve it and you can do it. 

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