This year’s resolution is to learn how to contain my anxiety, irritability and anger. Basically I want to get a handle on emotions.
We can’t change others but we can totally choose how to cope with our emotions. I have a tendency to call other people, vent my stress to other people or make other people listen to me.
I am not a child anymore and don’t need other people’s understanding or sympathy to contain my frustration..I know. It is interesting because this reminds me of my borderline mother! That’s what she did to contain her overwhelming emotions..and ups and downs.
My mom was just like that. One issue comes up and she has to call my dad, call all her sisters, even my father’s mother and talk to me about it over and over and over…sometimes we don’t always have solutions for these things and my mother who suffers from borderline personality disorder didn’t seem to be specifically looking for solutions but she just wanted everybody to hear her stories and sympathize with her. She is like a little girl.
When my mom calls me, I am like..”there she goes..” and as expected, she has some “issues” that has been frustrating her and she is asking me to say a few words to calm her down and make her feel better.
I am like, “Mom. You are my mom and you should be doing that for me. For some reasons, our roles as mother and child have been reversed.”
But these days I feel like I have much better handle on my emotions and even on others’..I am much better at separating mine from others. It’s not me, it is her! it is him!