This was one of probably the lowest points of my life…
I was about 23 years old when I met this charming good looking guy with beautiful slight british accents. I met him on an online dating site which was rare at that time, but his profile was well written and he looked pretty good. But I didn’t attempt to take any actions..because I was kind of shy. Then we chatted a few times and exchanged cell phone numbers. He started to call my cell phone.
I have to admit that I find that a little odd. We’ve never met before and he was calling me like he already knew me as a friend or something. I was uncomfortable answering his call but I kept talking to him. He mentioned that he was a professional pilot who is actually teaching in school. He was also 23 years and he was trying to get into a law school to become a lawyer like his grandfather.
One day we decided to meet up over sushi and he picked me up. I normally don’t allow men that I meet online to pick me up but this guy was such a smooth talker and I trusted him instantly for some reason. He came and picked me up with a red mustang..he looked good..just like the pictures.
We had sushi and he was telling me how he was going to law school, he already had an established position at a law firm..I was completely smitten by him instantly. He talked well and really cute.
Anyways shortly after the honeymoon period was over, nightmare started to happen. Constant manipulation, black and white. Literally he gets mad at me for something and then would disappear for three-4 four days and I would be devastated for not knowing why he disappeared…
Then he came right back but I started to become extremely jealous of his ex girlfriend.
He kept talking about her and said he did everything for her..he wrote a couple of poems so I can read the poems in front of her classmates and they were so impressed. and he did everything for her and bought a Toyota SUV (where does he get the money? LOL) and even rented an apartment for her but she was adamant about breaking up and told him they were done. He was still devastated when we started to see each other and I believed in everything he told me.
The most ridiculous thing was that he kept saying that he was actually admitted into UCLA and was a popular DJ there. But he wanted to pay rugy so decided to transfer to University of Arizona..I have never heard of such transfer but I was attending UCLA at that time so he might have been jealous. Narcissist hates to feel inferior. And more troubling thing came up..he said that he was taking one course to meet the requirement for his minor..he was retaking an exam and we went to see the result posted outside on the door. “F” his face turned red..but insisted that there was a mistake and he was still going to a law school…
then turned out that these were all lies and he continued to lie to me. The internet dating site we met..he allegedly founded that website..yeah right. “It’s my company..” “They work for me” he continued to tell me he was a pilot teacher and one of his students is a beautiful Asian model..blah blah.. he treated me to the session..and I had a different teacher and he said to me..”Your boyfriend is still a student and is learning from me.” Wait..wasn’t he an instructor?!
I started to second guess everything and finally confronted her about all these lies..he didn’t take my accusation well because Narcissist needs to right. They hate to be invalidated. So again I couldn’t get a hold of him anymore and see this status update on friendster (it wasn’t facebook back then) this 17 year-old girl was writing this comment to my boyfriend..it was as if she was his girlfriend. lol maybe she was.
But around that time he started to call me and one day I received his text message saying ..In NY Love you. Ha? New York? He was out of town for like 2 weeks? I don’t know but he said his family asked him to take this drug addict friend to the facility in south africa..he was all the way there to help. Then I asked..”why did you answer your call a week ago.?” ah oh…he had cingular wireless.. lol
he goes “I have a special satellite phone.” Yeah right…
Toward the end, I kept invalidating him and kept telling him he was a narcissist and liar. One day he kept crying and crying and I think I saw his real self then..he was like a little boy..said “I am scared..I am scared..” I was very convinced that he was a narcissist so told him to seek some kind of help. But then he commands that it was my responsibility to find him a help but I was totally done with him at that time. I lost so much weight because of the stress, lost all trust in men and I was left with this huge emptiness, heartbroken and nothingness inside of me. It was really tough..now I know NEVER to date a narcissist. Trust your gut feeling..if you think your date is a narcissist, go away..go far away from him.