It is normal to worry about things..we all have various responsibilities in our lives, and it is natural for us to feel anxious about certain things..worry is very helpful because it drives us to take action to resolve what’s making us worry..but it turns into “anxiety” when we don’t take action yet we keep going around in circles.
“What if..” “What if I did..” If you start to asking “what ifs”..and jumping to conclusions, it can escalate the level of anxiety that you are feeling and it can even cause physical problem. It is paralyzing when we are constantly worrying about things that we can’t control..
I literally became paralyzed when I was organizing this big event for work..roughly 60 people showed up..most of them didn’t RSVP’d..(it’s typical) and posters were not displayed properly and there is no way for me to do all of these while managing the office..and handling complaints..counseling students..I really don’t know how I do that sometimes, but I started to feel this numbness in my leg that I was not able to control at the end of this event..and that scared the crap out of me. Everybody was thanking me for doing a great job..but I was paralyzed..they thought I was feeling sick…
I kept going over all these different scenarios..repeatedly without even recognizing that I was doing it…and I started to feel chest pain, dry mouth…then numbness in leg and this sensation of passing out..It was very scary.
As long as I stay in my current job, I have to continue to organize events at least twice a year..greeting 50 plus people and some of them are just sooo stuck up. It is unbelievable. But who cares..so what?
So is this job causing so much anxiety that I should just walk away..? and look for a less stressful position that doesn’t require much interactions with people..but the thing is that I enjoy talking to people, having a good time..making people happy that drives me to do what I do for living. All these behind the scenes coordinations that I do, and some people notice that and really thank me for all I do for certain people.
Worrying is a habit that can be improved..I want to believe that I will be able to become less worried about things that I have no control over..and gradually I hope to be able to stay calm and just focus on what needs to be done at work, in my private life..so I can remain more logical..and positive.
What I know is that I didn’t used to be this anxious..my habit of worrying started to develop gradually and slowly..and by the time I was in my late teen years, I was very anxious. Of course, there was no help available back home..back then and I had to continue to worry about everything.