I know..letting go is really important. Until we let go of an old hurt, we cannot fully enjoy this moment. It is a waste of time ruining this precious moment because of the past. Everybody has some kind of old traumas and of course, for some people, it is extremely hard to let go of the past..I am not saying that it is easy to let go because it is not. I’ve been trying for years but it seems to me that subconsciously I don’t want to let go for whatever reasons that I have..
What is it? What is holding me back? I did spend some time analyzing my mind, and I assume that I subconsciously believe that thinking about it, worrying about it somehow helps me control the future and it is obviously wasting this moment. So it is not very good.
Traumas from the past and all these negative feelings do distract us from fully living joyfully in this moment. People say “Let go..move on then” like it is so easy but some people need professional assistance to let go. It is that difficult.
Many of us hold on to the old traumas without even realizing that we do. For me, so many painful things happened in my childhood and my big brain knows that it doesn’t help me by holding on to these today. I am an adult, can protect myself mostly and it doesn’t change the past and holding on to the past only prevents us from enjoying our lives today.
My friend keeps thinking about her ex who suddenly disappeared. I hate when man does that! It is the most cowardly thing to do..if he doesn’t want to see her again, tell her in person, at least call her. Don’t just block her number and stop communicating with her! Anyways, this happened several months ago, but she still talks about it, going back and forth wondering if she did anything wrong. She wants closure. I get it, and I would have felt the same way..but how is it helping her by thinking about this loser over and over and over….it is almost like an obsession at this point. No matter how many times or how long she thinks about him, he is no longer in her life and that won’t probably change unless this guy conveniently contacts her back in the future.
So how do we let go exactly?
I was watching this video posted on Youtube..this guy said something simple yet very profound..
Be in this present moment, Be in this moment, Be in this moment…….now you can probably repeat after me. 🙂
When you decide to become mindful maybe for about five minutes, you use all of your senses to experience this present moment..How is the temperature? What do you smell…? What do you see…? What do you hear…? If you are in your bed, how does your skin feel..go into details.
And magically, I don’t think about the past when you are paying close attentions to this moment. I didn’t think about it and I started to allot five-seven minutes a day trying to be mindful..I do obsess over stupid stuff from the past and I can talk myself out of it but it comes back even stronger, so the only way that seems to work for me is to focus on this present moment…
There are other parts of subconscious decisions that we have made that we need to explore..part of us may not want to accept what happened, want to fix it even though there is nothing we can do it now. We may not want to forgive the person who hurt us..just want to keep thinking about him and feel angry.
It is hard to do everything all at once, and forgiveness can be overwhelming so I suggest you start with this simple exercise of staying in this present moment for five minutes. Once you become comfortable with this exercise, try to stretch the length of mindfulness time..and maybe try for 10 minutes..
It may not be easy if you have never tried this exercise but I assure you that it will work…