Time and Time again..I am asking myself how I can gain true confidence. I just want to be like one of those strong minded girls who know themselves so they are even more attractive.
But where does this level of confidence come from? Confidence isn’t just about being good looking, smart, having a good looking boyfriend, graduated from good university..of course, these things will go a long way but confidence is not about possessing material things or having a higher degree credential. It is a little more intangible.
Truly confident person does not lose their identity when he gets fired from his job, ends a long term relationship or worse lose all his money for something. He will probably be crushed for a while but he is not going to feel horrible about himself because of these. It sucks to lose all these things most people identify themselves with but truly confident person still stays who he is despite all these.
Confidence is not about being narcissistic. It is more about knowing who you are and having a solid identity despite whatever that happens today or tomorrow. Not many people have this level of confidence but the key is solid identity.
You know who you are and do not identify yourself with your job, relationship, expensive cars or money. It is normal to identify yourself with your career because many people think career is significant part of their life and it is understandable. But there is a way to remain detached while pursuing and advancing your career. You can identify yourself with words like “hard working” “productive” “ambitious” “intelligent” “highly skilled..” List is much longer depending on your career.
The key here is to know who you are, embrace it and stick with your core values and these things consist solid identity-not material things or status..more intangible things constitute our core identity.