Many people are afraid of losing their significant other. It is natural for humans to want to connect with others and we are social animals. I don’t think anybody really wants to be isolated and alone. But people with healthy mind do need some alone time to reflect on themselves.
It is an important step to differentiate our own thoughts, feelings and ideas from others. Without even realizing, our minds are often influenced by those around us and solitary time is necessary for us to clear our head and become more centered and grounded.
But there are people who are terrified of abandonment. They desperately cling to their partners in an attempt to save their relationships but their desperation often scares their partners away.
Their ultimate fear becomes the reality. She is terrified of losing a boyfriend and he left her finally because he didn’t want to deal with her extreme mood swings and excessive neediness. He just didn’t understand why she was so afraid of losing him, of him abandoning her.
Fear of abandonment is a major symptom of borderline personality disorder. Any signs of rejection and abandonment set them off. Like small children, they feel like they are going to be in trouble because they can’t live without their parents or primary care takers. Many people who suffer from BPD never learned to sooth themselves.
They didn’t have consistent validation, love and support at home. It is normal for them to seek that replacement in their romantic relationships. So now you can understand why she feels so terrified of losing you.
BPD can affect men too, and you now understand what he is going through. He is just really scared..without his partner, he does not know left or right..feel like he is nothing..just vanish in the air. Then terror attacks him at night. Frantically calls her over and over and even go to her place repeatedly even though she told him not to..
Like a small child that needs mommy to reassure him.
Now you know what’s like for people with BPD to suffer from fear of abandonment. It is a serious fear.