In some way, I have never fully found who I am..my real self. What I like, what my interests are..what my future goals are..people are surprised when I tell them that I am still not quite sure. Of course, I wouldn’t say that to everybody but I do to close people. How can you not know what you like, what your interests are? Well, it is probably I never had an opportunity to develop that in my early childhood.
I have become who my mother, the society expected me to be, but I didn’t dare to find out..it might not be too late now, but it is horrifying once you past a certain age. People with borderline personality disorder are horrified of being alone and abandoned and it is because of their fragile sense of self. I think I do have elements of that.
I do want to feel comfortable with myself, able to enjoy alone time..
Only when you know who you are, when your real self is fully developed as an adult, you are confident enough to embark on a scary journey in this world alone..even without your parents protecting and guiding you.
Children are curious, so they explore and try to test our limits..but they can only do so with adult’s supervision and support. Children need to know that it is ok to fail and try to discover new things about himself because his parents would be there for him when you fall, and they love me regardless.
It makes me sad every time I think about this, but it is never too late to explore new things that may or may not interest me. Without testing out and experimenting new activities, I will never find out what my interests are..significantly element of our core self.